chelsea cookHave you ever just wanted to be alone without distractions? Just sitting and contemplating...nothing. Oklahoma has had its almost typical very hot summer but the early mornings are very good. On a good morning, somewhere after 6AM, I try to just sit on the patio and watch what a fantastic world we have. There is a pageant show going on just for me and I enjoy and appreciate it. After making a pot of coffee I go and watch the sparrows steal food meant for real birds, an occasional cardinal, sparrows, a teeny hummingbird and sparrows. Sometimes there are other birds who come to visit and that is great but mostly we have sparrows. We have had cardinals, robins and a fat bird. The best part, so far, was the bluebirds who had three families in our little bluebird house. After some extreme caution on their part, they finally accepted us and went about their business of feeding the greedy chicks. They liked it much better when we were absent.
There are no problems that can’t be solved. There is nothing pressing in the conscious mind and no guilt for enjoying the solitude when the world is just past the tall board fence. Huge cumulus clouds march by in cloud formations of every cloud for itself. The towering front runners usually do not wait on the smaller clouds as they have places to go and things to see. The sun, who has worked so hard since late March, is taking his time getting up this late in the summer. He does a magnificent job of announcing his presence by turning the sky pink, the clouds get washed in orange tint and the sky is, almost suddenly, more blue. The hills to the east wear a crown of spikey sun’s rays which makes their formations appear dark enough that most details are washed out. Although he looks at me suspiciously, the neighborhood bunny is now brave enough to come in the back yard looking for grass seed.
The coffee is certainly not a gourmet brand but there are very few times when it tastes and feels better. Oh, sitting on a cruise ship balcony at about this same morning time would be more than equal, but this patio will do nicely. (Note to self: Remind me to call Campbell Cruises and Tours to see if Pam can find us a cruise to anywhere). Being hidden from the world is not, to me, a bad thing. There are many, many people who cannot truly function without the stimulus of being with other people. I find it satisfying being by myself and trying to see what is going on. There is something about being in a beautiful place that brings the world down to a manageable size. This would be the opposite of starting a morning if one awoke on the prairie of western Oklahoma or in New Mexico where one can see forever and a couple more miles.
We have a small cabin set in the woods east of Oklahoma City. We can get the same feeling, when we are there, by sitting on the screened porch and watching nature unfold. Sitting inside the screen we are protected from the mosquitoes who resent it but, all things being equal, we do not mind what they think. Until you experience the feeling of sitting with the most important part of the world spread before you, watching the play of wild creatures and three lazy dogs, you may not have experienced life. Beyond the rush, rush, rushing sound that we have become so used to we no longer hear, and voices and sounds that intrude without notice, is your life. It is very difficult for some to find themselves in this solitude.
When I was a real person I was told by more than one that they did not like being alone in those type circumstances. One even went so far as to do a shudder to reinforce her feelings.
Just to clarify, I enjoy being with people. I revel in a crowd and find it satisfying to turn strangers into friends. It is a great deal of fun to be with a crowd at a sporting event and cheer, barrack, attempt to encourage the side to outperform the other side. Even being with a group, at a party or gathering of less than 10 – 15 people is good. All the exchanges, all the interaction and all the social graces which come into play are all good. But to find who you are, be as Thoreau indicated and go into nature by yourself.
I think you will like what you find.