chelsea cookWellsir, there is no logical reason that I can fathom that a new year should start in the darkest of winter. Our northern half has had one month of winter and is expecting two more. So, as a person who has expressed this several times, why not start a new year when the new season starts. March 1st would be a much better time than January 1st. Another positive would be all the party people would not have to worry, before leaving home for a celebration event, about freezing to death if they became “impaired” during said event and had difficulty on the way home. It is rumored that such things have almost happened to people.
But all that aside, we try to use a new calendar year as a reason to not do things we should not have done in the past and do things we know we should have been doing all the time. It seldom works. A standing joke is, about February, the comedians began asking: “How many resolutions have you broken by now?”  Of course, the eternal pessimists believes no one can keep their resolutions - but - I have a solution. And, of course, since you have never kept a hard resolution, I have a technique which will help you of little internal fortitude.  To quote: “Ah ye of little faith.”  And it is free, and NO, we will not discuss”you get what you pay for.” I am giving away a long time experience that works. I can tell you my success story but it may seem bragging and/or boring.
If your fridge is as ours is and overloaded with left over wonderful Christmas dishes, you probably over-eat for lunch and dinner as none of this wonderful food should go to waste, After all, they are starving in China/Africa/Aleppo/India/Moscow so you should eat everything in that fridge. nosir, I do not know how overeating for weeks after Christmas will alleviate the problems in the named places but I have heard that many times. The rumor is that if one has little self control and likes all the dishes in the fridge, he may gain almost 10 pounds during this season. Uhh, he OR she since I am not being personal. One also has to be careful and tell one’s washer person that she should not use too much hot water when washing clothes as some seem to be shrinking.
Make you resolution for two weeks. Make the resolution that you will lose weight before January is over. Do not set a number and when challenged - and you will be challenged- just give a wry grin and say, “We’ll see” and then turn or walk away if you can. Take your lunch to work from the Christmas left-overs as they are things you like and it will let the world know you are keeping your resolutions. By the end of the first week people will have become tired of their argument and wishing you would drop the whole bit, but you just keep on doing that. On Monday after the end of two weeks you can go back to normal and when the first smart alec says something, you counter with, “By golly it was hard but I did it!” Say this strongly and positively and 99% will believe you and you will be a hero. Americans memory is so short that by the end of two weeks all but the evil ones will not think that only a short time has passed and you don’t look any different. If they are so crass as to say something you must be brave. Just look them in their beady little eyes and say,”Hey, it’s over. Time to move on, Dude/Dudess!” Then ignore them for an hour or so.  Remember, you did not set a time limit on your resolution so you did keep it.
Of course, over-eating is not the only resolution for one to set to eliminate. Most of what we do, it seems like, we should not do or limit doing. The tobacco companies had most of the world convinced that all our heroes used tobacco in unlimited quantities so we would be as cool as they if we smoked. Did you ever wonder how many people died way early because of that? If you have ever been in Europe or Asia you would know not everybody has received the message that when we nicknamed cigarets “Cancer Sticks”  or “nail in my coffin” we were forecasting the future. Oh, and speeding. I have known people, when I was much younger* who made a New Year’s promise not to speed anymore. That lasted until she had -0- minutes to get home before her curfew.
Yessir, I have kept my resolutions each year for several years. I resolve not to make resolutions and I have been very successful.
* I can prove I was a teenager once but most people want to forget I ever was.  And furthermore, you may respond as always to: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
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