I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him, said Dick Cavett of past TV fame. Me too.  When I was a young man the horizon stretched so far out that it appeared to never end. I had not even started my journey so how could there be an end. There were so many things to do and a whole world to conquer. Unlike many of my young colleagues, I knew what I wanted to do and I set out to do it.
Life has a way of interrupting plans but that didn't bother me. Other than graduating college so I could teach music, I had no definite plans. Reality could wait until then. Then sometime over the next few years real things started to happen. I got a teaching position, I got married and we started a life together. This was more fun than just being me.
One small fact probably escaped those who knew me in high school and college but I loved little kids. To be a father was a goal I wasn't sure I could attain. But it happened. The most perfect little boy in the world was born. What marvelous thing had I done to deserve such a wonderful thing.
Then, another miracle as we had another baby who was the most perfect little girl ever created. After that came another perfect boy baby and  my world was very full.  During all this we had moved to a town we came to love and seemed to like us. A great deal of time passed and my babies grew up even if I didn't want them to. The world was still good but there was a definite lack of something. But then another miracle, the first grand baby arrived.  The world was new and shining again. And another, and another until I now have nine grandchildren. But they didn't listen to me either and they started to grow up. Now they started to having babies and I have four greats to play rollie ball and Go Fish and read Miss Suzy Squirrel.
However, their parents are too busy trying to find their life in their world and I do not get to see them often enough. Sometimes more than a week will go by without seeing the two closest ones. Everywhere I go I see babies and young children and my arms ache. People bring tiny ones into the store where I volunteer and I just want to hold them.
Some while back I had several errands important enough for me to actually do instead  of putting them off for another day. Right, there are always ‚Äúother days," isn't there? Anyway, I saw something which made me know that all is right with the world. The next day it happened again and I knew that the world is not such a bad place despite what you hear coming from politicians.
A young father had just helped two daughters out of their car and was walking toward the nearest shop. He carried the younger girl as she looked to be less than two. The ‚Äúbig" sister was, ohh, maybe between three and four years old.  As they started out she reached her tiny hand up to her daddy's and they all waked off toward the shop. Nothing remarkable there? Well, maybe.
The girls were dressed in what we old guys used to call ‚ÄúSunday-Go-To-Meeting." They looked like they had just stepped out of a catalog for an upscale clothing line. If dad had known what an impact he was having on total strangers he would have walked slower and in and out of more shops. The family picture he and his two beautiful girls presented was better than a painting. It was real life and I honestly believe he did not know what a treasure he had.  
I saw them again sometime later and overheard him talking to the older girl in a calm and reasonable way. He seemed to be explaining something but I didn't get close enough to listen. OK, so there were some show cases and stuff in the way, but I wouldn't eavesdrop anyway.  The second one I saw was another young dad with a very small child. He was carrying this angel and appeared to  be enjoying  holding the child. He was talking in a quiet voice as if he was explaining whatever they were doing. Maybe he was just softly staying in touch with whatever guardian angel was permitting this.  
Being older than most dirt, I envied both of them. I could remember the touch and smell and feel of holding something so precious that there are not words enough to express those feelings. Now that I am not chasing dreams, I just hurt to hold the future.
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